The PC Brigade are at it again. Even honest, small town America isn't safe from the vast liberal juggernaut of Obama's police state. With costant war, arrest without trial, concentration camps in Communist Cuba and a hardworking all-American mother of five being refused entry to the White House recently, could our great diplomatic chum (dare, I say lover) the USA become anymore of an Orwellian dysptopia?
Yes.
In Washington DC today, thirty-three concerned citizens arrived after a thousand mile journey to plead their case before the steps of Congress: Their plight? To save the name and heritage of their rural community: Hitler, Wisconsin.
"We don't know what all the fuss is about", says Elanor Cruise, 84 year old widow and lumberjack "to us its our history, its in our blood". Her knitted 'Hitler is Great' sweater shows her commitment.
In 1876, John Hitler laid the first brick of the township that would become home to literally hundreds of brave homesteaders, unwilling to continue into the actual West. Now after more than a century of that true American spirit, the Feds want to saw through their collective ribcage, pull out their bleeding heart and use it as a bureaucratic paperweight in an ironic, albeit metaphorical twist on an existing liberal stereotype. Which is true.
"Its insane [to do this to Hitler, Wisconsin]", told a DC insider, "that name stands against everything this country hold dear [if the Muslims and Gays had their way and reversed national values]"
But its not the first time Hitler has been criticised. For decades its Cheddar was the pride of the quad-county area, a moderatly tall man in the well-statured world of Wisconsin dairy.
"Back in the twenties and thirties", resident Dick Richardson told us "you couldn't move for the stuff. You'd go to the store and you'd hear 'I'll have a block of Hitler please' or 'I'm afraid we're out of Hitler, on account of high demand'- it was a real talking point".
Sadly the democratic election of a resemblingly named, hardnosed German politican, led to heated debate and the eventual decline of the town's cheesemonger, following a federal crackdown by sexual pervert J. Edgar Hoover in 1942.
"After the war started, the government thought it was a bit much to have highway billboards with 'You can't beat Hitler' on them. Sad really".
Then moving from machination to machination, only sixty-six year later, Democratic Senator Hank Narley called for the extermination of numerous historial placenames across the United States. Coontown, Missouri, Dead Chinaman, Nevada and Anger!, New Mexico are all in the firing line. But none have found as much support as Hitler, Wisconsin.
"We set up a website and started calling newspapers, and we were amazed at how many people from across the country listened, donated, even volunteered to join the protest", says Adam Hitler, mayor and great-grandson of John.
Indeed as the residents coach pulled up outside Congress, their Hitler Appreciation Society banner already covered in vegetable and fecal based impacts from liberal troublestarters, they were greeted by dozens of allies from across the country.
"It was great", says Adam "they were turned out great, plenty of young folk, very organised and excited. One of the young men even had Hitler tatooed on his forehead, it really shows what this campaign means to America"
"We feel for them ", said Harold 'Whitewolf' Andersen, leader of moderate pressure group HATE "Its just a load of fuss about nothing, why doesn't the government get on with whats important like taxes, crime, racial blood-mixing, water rates"
Quite.
